Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
