once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
