My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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