we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
