when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
