Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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