hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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