Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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