I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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