Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
