Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
