the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it's great music for shaving your balls
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
