Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
