Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
