He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
