watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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