I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
