She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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