The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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