umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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