oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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