he thought i was a dude.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
