Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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