Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
