wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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