Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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