Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
