my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.