Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?