Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged