That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"