so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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