Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
