If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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