Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
