you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
