Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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