He is an equal opportunity slut.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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