I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
