FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I had to cum in my sink.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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