Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
