If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
