Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
