we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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