At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
