is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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