Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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