just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
