Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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