just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
