she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Randomize
