I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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