I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
