hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
