my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
