they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
