I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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