I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
