Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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