Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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