Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
