your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
