the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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