so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
this hospital has no fireball
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
