After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
