love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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