woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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