And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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