Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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