Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
