So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
