I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We need to get me chipped asap
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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